Happiness, Choices and Allowing

15. September 2009

Stating the obvious: ~ Happy people live happy lives ~ What many people fail to notice is that feeling happiness is a choice, a decision, that becomes a habit through repetition in exactly the same way as feeling unhappy is. Abundance is a choice also and the difficulties we may often experience come as a result of the resistance we have to allowing ourselves the freedom to choose anew.

I ceased to be broke when I became tired of being broke and I ceased to feel depressed when I’d had enough of feeling depressed in much the same way as I gave up smoking when I’d had enough of smoking and I gave up unhealthy relationships when I’d had enough of unhealthy relationships. So if your struggling with any of these issues in your life then you’d better get clear on whether you really want change or whether you are in some way, however absurd it may sound, feeling “good” about your struggle and difficulties. Our western culture places a certain nobility around righteous suffering, fighting the good struggle etc. Do you want to live in struggle and suffering simply to show how wonderfully you are suffering alongside the rest? Be ruthlessly honest now because you cannot change that which you won’t admit needs changing.

Allowing New Choices

In my experience this is the hardest part in any of this, finally finding a way to allow ourselves the freedom to enjoy a positive change when there is so much inner mental dialogue constantly justifying and rationalising little or no change at all. Now, in times past I might have approached this, almost solely, by debating and arguing the rational resistant side of me into accepting a new approach but these days I’m aware of taking an increasingly felt, intuitive, right brained, vibrational, approach. I find this a great deal easier and more satisfying.

Here is how it works, you gradually learn to shift your focus towards what feels better rather than on what seems true or realistic. For example:

  • Feeling Happy: Inner dialogue ~ …of course you unhappy, who wouldn’t be with what you’re having to deal with?.. this is a thought which evokes feelings of sadness, stagnancy and disempowerment (i.e. more unhappiness), so because this train of thought, no matter how reasoned and rational, leads only to further feelings of unhappiness its a clear indicator that if we want to feel better then we are going to have to think “better”. A “better” thought might be ~…yes, well, these are difficult times indeed but there is always scope for improvement and I could be a lot worse off… its not a huge change in thinking but it is a little more hopeful and optimistic without appearing to be too unreal or farfetched to be acceptable to the rational self. The key thing to notice though is the mild feeling of relief it evokes. It justfeels a little better to think of improvement and possible solutions and that is ok, you want to feel better, you’re allowed to feel better but only you can allow it by choosing to think and thus feel differently.

In times of chronic negativity you may find it seemingly impossible to find any relief when thinking about your difficulties in any way and at times like these you must think about something else, something affirming and sustaining until you feel better. At times like this I sit alone and look at photos of my wife and kids; watching my children sleeping is especially heart warming also. You can play around with this by spending quiet time daily learning to simply feel better and then approaching your problems again from that better feeling state and seeing if you can maintain that higher feeling as you look at your problem because I guarantee that when you do you’ll find a solution or at the very least the start of one. What is more, you’ll also wonder why you hadn’t thought of it before.

Yes, I may be spouting forth here about happiness and well being but I too face complications and difficulties even in my happy state and it is my experience with dealing with those that allows me to feel qualified to hold forth here on the inter-web. You can have difficulties and be happy in fact it is these very difficulties that call forth exciting new desires for change into existence.

I’ve not posted here for about six months now, simply because I’ve allowed myself the absolute luxury of only posting when I feel like it. After all this wed site is my indulgence and creation so I can write when I want even if I supposedly, rationally, should write more often.

Its clearly a timely post today though because I was just sent this free video link from the foremost Law Of Attraction teachers Jerry and Esther Hicks and its totally relevant to what I have just written and basically says it all.

Enjoy!

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