Resolutions For Dreamer Achievers

8. January 2009

Well its early January as I write this, a time of year typically associated with new resolutions and planning for the year ahead. I’m offering a few thoughts here on such ideas and plans that may be more helpful for some than the typical guru mantra of goal setting.

I am living the life of my dreams and sometimes I inwardly “pinch” myself and wonder how it is that I’m so lucky, why me? Its not that I am hugely “successful” with a massive income and business or career empire or some such it is rather that I simply live a deeply happy and contented life for the greatest part of the time. Yes, I do have problems or difficulties to deal with but no, life as a whole is good, very good indeed. I work from home mostly and am responsible overall for a business that is now largely self sustaining leaving me free to pursue other interests and spend quality time with my wife, kids and pets.

I used to routinely work 70+ hours a week, I did that for many years, but as it became an increasingly unacceptable way to live life somehow twisted and turned in such a manner as to allow me to live much more quietly, happily and peacefully. I did not manipulate or engineer my life circumstances this way by following through on set targets and goals, rather it seemed life moved to accommodate my changing desires as I aged and they changed. The hardest part has been allowing myself to become freer and less fearful or controlling. To allow life to provide for me.

A great many successful businesses are owned and/or managed by “control freaks” certain of the rightness of their decisions, what needs to be done and who needs to be doing it. They are not afraid to make decisions and choices or be unpopular in the face of opposition and criticism either. However, these types are not necessarily any happier than the rest of us. Clear goal setting works very well for these task orientated conquering types but not everyone. Goal setting tends to shift one’s focus towards the steps and how’s of achievement whereas dreamers readily have the magnificent visions but often struggle to follow through and ground these into physical reality.

Targeted goal setting is not such a successful approach for the more fluid, vague, dreamy, timid and less action orientated kind of person but we all have goals even if we do not necessarily recognise them as such. We all want to be happier and more fulfilled in some way do we not? We all envisage some kind of improvement in our lives be that health, wealth, spiritual, relational. The key question is what do you really and I mean really want, what is your core goal or dream?

Know who you are ~ Know what you want

A quick google-ing suggest that our top new years resolution are a mix of these:

  • Lose Weight
  • Manage Debt
  • Save Money
  • Get a Better Job
  • Get Fit
  • Eat Right
  • Get a Better Education
  • Drink Less Alcohol
  • Quit Smoking Now
  • Reduce Stress

Why would you want to achieve any of these? Because you think that then you’ll feel better about yourself, happier, confident, more at ease, healthier, safer. We also know that a great many people fail to follow through on their goals or resolutions. Why?

Because they’ve got them back to front, there using the goal of quitting drink or smoking etc. as a target their sense of well being depends upon whereas right now they feel anxious about their health, finances and well being, happiness is continually being postponed until a goal is reached. Then, if it isn’t, its highly likely that they will smoke, eat or drink more etc. as a comforter against their sense of failure. However underneath all that lays the simple humble desire to feel deeply fulfilled, safe and contented.

What we really want is to feel different or better but our minds like to suggest that we have to do or change something in order to feel that way but in truth we don’t.

Try it now:

Just breathe, relax and simply allow yourself to feel better right here, now, regardless. Feel anything? Even a hint? I hope so.

Practice this first, then achieving any of your other goals will happen a great deal more easily because you are continually getting an inkling of what you really want deep down at a core level. A state that your greater being (who you really are) already knows but your limited human self has forgotten.

Dream, achieve, realise and expand feelings of well being first and foremost rather than repetitively focusing on what you consider is wrong with you or your life and pushing to change it. Use the thought of the completed goal as a tool to increase your feelings of well being now. You need to feel good first.

Become a happy changeling. So simple, but only as easy or hard as we choose to make.

Enjoy

See also : Goals Without Controls

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